Ugh! A Time Trap?
by LiltingTune
Summary: Past vs. Present, Sorcery vs. Technology (::clears throat:: I think Socery won). Well anyways this is my first fanfic. ever, so please review. I'd like to know how horrible I am ::Grins sheepishly::
1. No more Goldfish!

I am Lina Inverse! The absolutely amazing and rather charming sorceress extraordinaire. ::looks around with a quizzical expression at the very plush brown leather sofa's and large black box in the corner of the nicely proportioned white room:: Unfortunately I have no clue where I'm at. ::hands are placed behind her head::  
  
Um, Lina. howed we get here? ::Gourry glances around and scratches his head looking slightly dazed::  
  
::Lina smacks him on the back of the head and he falls in a very amusing heap onto the floor:: DUH! How would I know? I've only been with you the entire time.  
  
::cautiously they both move around the room. Gourry steps up to the first couch and pokes it with a stick questioningly:: Hello?  
  
Gourry. ::rolls eyes:: that isn't some sort of animal. It looks like a seat to me. ::she runs over and jumps on it bouncing up and down happily in a cross-legged position::  
  
Come on, try it out ::pats the seat next to her::  
  
Ok whatever you say Lina. ::loses all reservation and plops down on the couch very heavily:: Hey this feels good.  
  
::puts her index finger up to her cheek and tilts her head grinning:: Told you so. ::suddenly she hops up curiosity glimmering in her red eyes:: HEY what do you think that is? ::points at the black box::  
  
I don't know, but hey it has little buttons on it. ::he walks up and before she can get a word through.::  
  
Gourry, I don't think that's such a g-goooo.:: walks up behind him quickly::  
  
Hey this one's larger than the others! ::Gourry reaches out his index finger and presses the biggest button on the large black box. suddenly sound bursts into the room and the front of the box lights up with color::  
  
AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::they both scream and run to hide behind the couch::  
  
WHAT IS THAT THING? ::Gourry shouts as he's covering his ears with his hands to stop what sounds like an explosion::  
  
WHAT?!?!?!?!? ::Lina shouts back her ears being covered too::  
  
I said. WHAT IS THAT THING? ::he shouts again::  
  
WHAT?!?!?!?!? ::she shouts again her eyes are wide and she's covering her head with her hands::  
  
I SAID WHAT I- ::suddenly the sound stops and what sounds like a lullaby is coming from the box:: S THAT THING!!! ::Gourry's voice echoes in the room::  
  
Oh. well you didn't have to shout.  
  
::Gourry face faults::  
  
::Lina stands up and walks over near the box warily and eyes it her hands up in front of her::  
  
::the box is singing. when suddenly it changes to show some sort of lizard speaking into a large round metal thing::  
  
::Lina stares:: Ok this is weird.  
  
Box: I am a gecko not to be confused with Geico, which can save you hundreds on car insurance. So, STOP CALLING ME!  
  
::Gourry is watching enraptured:: VERY weird!  
  
::they both sit quietly in the middle of the of the florr cross-legged (Gourry slightly behind Lina, like always) and watch as some weird gold colored fish swim across the screen singing something like::  
  
Box: It's the snack that smiles back until you bite their heads off. The snack that smiles back Goldfish!  
  
Hey, does this thing know you Lina? ::Gourry grins slightly::  
  
::sweat drops and then smacks him with it:: NO!!  
  
::they sit in silence for a minute::  
  
::Lina looks at Gourry:: Do those look like goldfish to you?  
  
No. but they are goldy  
  
::looks again at the screen wich is suddenly showing a huge baked ham and several chicken dinners::  
  
::Lina's eyes become huge and she sticks her face right up against the screen, positively salivating at the mouth:: I'm sooooooooooo hungry!  
  
::suddenly the box zooms back into the bright vibrant colors and pulsates with sound::  
  
::Lina jumps back and throwing her hands in front of her throws out a huge fireball exploding the television set into millions of little pieces:: Well that takes care of that. ::she rubs her hands together and blows on them slightly::  
  
Awwwwww, Lina.I like watching that thing!::Gourry looks really disappointed kinda like a lost puppy::  
  
Well what did ya want me to do.just let it go on making that god awful noise.::she shrugs and sits down on the couch:: besides there has to be something else to do 


	2. A story, a sink, and a couple of old fri...

This is fun to write and I hope to keep up with this story but if the chaps are a little slow in coming please forgive little ol' me.  
  
Disclaimer: Which of course I forgot to put in the first chapter. I don't own slayers. I don't even own the computer I'm typing on. Actually the fact is I don't own the clothes on my body right now. so please don't sue. There are laws against nudity and I don't want to go to jail. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
::Gourry nods thoughtfully and sits on the couch next to her his hand resting on his chin in imitation of the thinker:: Um, Ooh, ::shakes head:: uh huh, yep.  
  
::Lina looks at him expectantly:: So thought of anything?  
  
::sits for a another couple of seconds until his eyes light up and he grins:: NOPE nothing at all!  
  
::Lina flips over the back of the sofa and falls on her head::  
  
Hey Lina ::Gourry turns around kneeling on the edge of the sofa and looking at Lina's rear end which is sticking high in the air:: what'd ya fall off the couch for? ::looks puzzled::  
  
::Lina growls and jumping up she hits him hard on the head and tips him over the couch too. unfortunately she didn't exactly think it through so he ended up lying across her:: Umph, Gourry get off OF me. What's the big idea anyways falling on me like that!  
  
::Gourry still smiling props himself up on his elbows and looking at her sticks out his tongue::  
  
::in response to this grave kindergarten insult she sticks her tongue out back at him and makes a raspberry noise:: SO there! NOW get off of me you big lug!  
  
::at her words his eyes widen and he blinks:: OH! ::realizing where he is he jumps up like something bit him, all the while Lina is blushing furiously::  
  
Now if your done. :::Lina stands and brushes herself off:: Lets go! ::Lina sets off at a fast pace through the room adjoining to the white room::  
  
Go where!?!? ::Gourry sprints after her to catch up:: Where are we going to go Lina? We don't know how to get back and I don't think we're just going to blink back into our time.  
  
::Lina turns to Gourry in shock:: How did you know we were in a different time.  
  
::Gourry just shrugs and looks uncomfortable:: I don't know, It just seems right.  
  
'Once again a shining example of Mr. Jellyfish for brain's animal instinct' ::Lina starts walking again:: Well I'm pretty sure you are right. I think we may be in Old Earth.  
  
::Gourry looks puzzled:: Earth what's that?  
  
::Her eyes widen like saucers:: GOURRY! EARTH! The planet you live on!!!!! How can you not know what THE EARTH is? Ya know the planet we've saved from complete annihalation half a dozen times!  
  
::He thinks for a minute:: Oh yeah I think I've heard something like that. but I never really thought about it. ::grins like crazy and places one hand behind his head::  
  
'Like you think about anything' ::she grins fiercely (forced) and starts to explain:: Ok well hopefully you now know what the earth is now, so we'll go on to the legend of old Earth. which of course you must not have a clue about?  
  
::Gourry's eyes widen and he smiles:: Yes Teacher, Isn't that the place with the metal monsters that carry people around in there bellies. Oh and those giant bird-dragons.  
  
::Lina stares for a full minute and a half with her mouth open as he goes on to explain the whole legend to her counting each detail off with his fingers::  
  
::Gourry looks up when he runs out of fingers and then sitting down on the floor starts to take his boots off:: That's it right, Lina? ::he looks questioningly up at her::  
  
::Lina nods to him:: Yes Gourry that's exactly it. 'Talk about selective memory' ::seeing him pull his first shoe off:: Gourry! What are you doing? ::she snaps out of the shocked stupor she'd been in for the last several minutes::  
  
Oh nothing Lina, I just ran out of fingers. ::Gourry looks innocently up at her with a vacant expression::  
  
Well leave your shoes on I get the idea. ::Lina nods to him and starts touring the house again ending up in a small room with gleaming white counters and a large sink with a silver faucet, Next to the sink is a hulky white and black item with a handle attached horizontally to a fold out door. On it's top there seem to be some form of metal coil and one is a bright red color while the others are black::  
  
Oh this place looks cool. ::Lina grins and walks up to the sink looking curiously at the silver curved handles:: What's this? ::touching the shining metal with one hand she smiles:: Hey I wonder if this is worth anything. ::with that she starts to pull on the handle attempting to dislodge it:: Why ::tugs:: won't ::pulls harder bracing her foot against the lower cabinets:: this ::turns around until she has her arms between her legs and both legs braced on the cabinet:: thing ::walks up the cabinet doors until she is standing the counter all the while pulling as hard as she can::  
  
::meanwhile Gourry is lying on the floor with his ear pressed agains the dark green tiles and he seems to be searching under the stove:: Lina, What's this?  
  
Come ::now she's half way up the wall and growling ferociously:: OFF!! ::and then..  
  
Lina. ::Gourry stands a puzzled look on his face just in time to be hit with a flying socerous and about forty tons of water:: Ah!  
  
. Lina shoots across the room running smack dab into Gourry which in turn slams them both against the wall. A stream of water holds them there for a second before slowly trickling off:: Uh ::Lina grunts and pushes herself off the ground::  
  
Yes! ::she sits down on Gourry's chest. With one hand she brushes back a lock of soaking wet fire from her forehead. Suddenly her face lights up with a huge smile and lifting her other hand in front of her she opens it up. In it lays a small silver handle with a blue "C" embossed in it::  
  
I got it Gourry! ::she grins down at him still sitting daintily on his chest, one leg crossed over the other::  
  
But Lina. is that supposed to do that?! ::he points to the sink which is still shooting water into the air::  
  
I don't think so but ::shrugs:: I can fix it. ::Grinning she lifts her hand:: FIREBALL!! ::the fireball shoots from her hand and melts the fixtures together having an almost welding effect:: See. VICTORY! ::holds up two fingers in a peace sign::  
  
::standing up finally she allows Gourry to stand before starting off across the now puddle of a room:: So that thing lets out water. I wonder what ::she turns to point at the stove but before she can there is heard a loud popping sound and suddenly Amelia falls onto her head:: Ah! Amelia? ::another sound ensues and Zelgadis pops in right above our blonde swordsman. Dropping down he lands in Gourry's outstretched arms::  
  
Zel! ::Lina's shouts from the floor::  
  
Oh Hi Zel.. ::Gourry grins at him:: How'd you get here?  
  
::everyone in the room sweat drops (except Gourry of course)::  
  
Note: Sorry this took so long, Writers block ya know. Besides I was working on something else. Anyways thanks for the review It raised my confidence level a bit. Oh well I just hope I've got the characters pretty well. Also I think that maybe I will work something out to make this fic just a tiny bit more serious. nothing too huge though, You know that group can't be serious for too long. Oh and remember I always need reviews, they help the creative gravy thicken. 


	3. Burnt? EARTH! Washing Machines

Wow this took way longer than it should have. Sorry. And the fact that it's so short doesn't help either. Well anyways I'd apologize again but I doubt anyone cares. So on to the fic.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own it, don't want to. Way too much responsibility.  
  
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I don't know. now will you please put me down? ::Zel is still being held by Gourry::  
  
Oh sure Zel. ::Gourry places him on the ground slowly::  
  
::Zel just looks around for a second in shock at the destruction in the room. Looking down at his feet he seems to be standing in a puddle of water and most of the back wall is blackened::  
  
Where are we? ::Amelia asks, the question everyone Zel is silently trying to figure out, looking up from where she's sitting right in the middle of Lina's back::  
  
No one knows.::Lina's eye seems to twitch and she growls softly:: NOW will you get please GET OFF OF ME AMELIA!  
  
Oh sorry Miss Lina ::she apologizes profusely and stands::  
  
Now. we don't know where we are but I'm pretty sure I know when we are.::Lina grins for a second::  
  
When?! ::Zel and Amelia both state in utter confusion::  
  
Yes when ::turning towards Gourry she grins:: Why don't you tell them Gourry.  
  
Tell them what? ::the Blonde swordsman looks up from where he'd been watching the water float by tranquilly::  
  
What time this is Jellyfish! ::Lina by this time has a very pronounced twitch in her lips and probably a large migraine::  
  
Oh that, ::Gourry scratches his head thoughtfully:: well me and Lina decided that we'd been taken back in time to old Err- ::he pauses:: Um..  
  
EARTH, GOURRY! ::Line by this time is practically pulling her hair out:: EARTH!  
  
Oh right Old Earth that's it. ::Gourry grins and places his hands behind his head::  
  
Old Earth? ::Amelia's eyes are wide:: You mean that old legend with the giant dragon monsters and the metal things that eat people and make them ride around in their stomachs.  
  
Um, yes I've heard of it. ::Zel says thoughtfully:: But why are we here? ::Zel turns to Lina:: When did you to get here?  
  
Oh about a half an hour ago .we started over in the room next door but decided to come in here. ::she gestures around briefly::  
  
You haven't been here an hour and already your destroying things? ::Zel sighs and shakes his head::  
  
Well, uh, really we were just exploring when that water thing starting shooting at me. ::Lina points at the faucet accusingly::  
  
Lina I thought it was because you pulled that shiny curved thing off.::Gourry scrunches his eyebrows up in concentration:: Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it.  
  
::Lina whaps him on the head with a soggy shoe:: Will you shut up!  
  
What you want me to lie? ::Gourry looks at the shoe on laying on the ground until Lina bends down to pick it up and put it back on::  
  
Well. ::Lina starts but noticing the look coming into Amelia's eyes she quickly changes her answer fearing a justice speech:: No, of course not. ::Lina's hand goes up behind her head and she smiles innocently::  
  
That's very good Miss Lina ::Amelia starts and unfortunately for the group continues:: Because if you did wish poor Mister Gourry to lie that would be an evil misdeed. Lying is dishonest and wrong. And since Justice is always filled with truth and love never can lying be permitted for ::Amelia jumps up on to the nearest hi thing she can find which happens to be the stove. her feet are situated right on either side of the bright red coil and she seems oblivious to the heat emanating from it:: I AMELIA WIL TESLA SEYRUUN AS A DEFENDER OF TRUTH, LOVE, AND ABOVE ALL ELSE JUSTICE WILL NOT PERMIT ANY FALSEHOODS IN MY RIGHTEOUS PRESENCE!  
  
::Amelia finished with her little speech glances around the room for the awed and amazed faces she so expects to see instead.::  
  
Hey, Zel you'll never guess what I found in this big white box over here come look ::Lina is sorting through the refrigerator while Gourry's head is stuck down in the washing machine::  
  
GUYS!!! ::Amelia whines looking put out:: Your supposed to be listening to me!  
  
Yeah, yeah we're listening Amelia, we're listening. ::Lina waves a hand back at her then continues to sort through the food realizing what it is but not sure exactly what is what.  
  
::Zel is standing right behind her staring in, his hands crossed over his chest::  
  
WOW, this is cool!! ::Gourry shouts his voice echoing strangely. and reaching up blindly with one hand he accidentally hits the start button:: Hey it's filling up with water now. neat!  
  
::pouting Amelia sits down gingerly on the stove top. Actually right on the bright red coils::  
  
Hey, this looks a little like chicken. ::Lina grins her mouth watering. Quickly she reaches in and pulls out a large chicken breast. Plopping it down on the floor she starts pulling off chunks and stuffing it unceremoniously into her mouth:: Um, good!  
  
::Gourry, hearing the unmistakable sound of food being chewed, pops his head back out of the washing machine and walks over to her:: Hey, can I have some?  
  
NO, it's all mine! Get your own food.  
  
But Lina, ::the swordsman stares into the open refrigerator with a quizzical look:: I don't know what anything is.  
  
So-mph ::Lina mutters around the large piece of chicken thigh sticking from her mouth. She pauses to chew and swallow but finally continues:: FIGURE IT OUT!  
  
::Zelgadis sighs and takes in a deep breath. Sniffing slightly he frowns:: What's that smell? ::he ask and taking another breath he glances towards the still pouting Amelia::  
  
Um, Amelia. ::Zel says his eyes widening::  
  
Oh so now you wanna talk to me. ::she turns away crossing her arms around her chest:: But when I was making a point when I was defending my beliefs on truth and justice, then I was ignored, degraded. IT WAS CRUEL AND WRONG! ::she takes a deep breath:: So, what do you have to say for yourself Mister Zelgadis?  
  
Nothing really Amelia, ::he smirks:: Just that your cloak is burning::  
  
::Amelia looks down to see her cloak on fire and realizes somehow belatedly that her backside is burning off:: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! ::she shrieks and jumps from the stove top to land, with a hiss, into the huge puddle of water still soaking the kitchen floor::  
  
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OK, so I used the old butt-on-fire gag that cartoons have used for ages but so what this is my fun story I can do anything I want! ::sticks out tongue:: Please, please review! 


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